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Ben Dies At The End

by Benji One Lung

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credits

released February 9, 2011

Written by Ben Brewer
Featuring Joe Brewer & Frank Rawle
Produced with Luke Bond

Recorded at Big Green Door Studio www.myspace.com/biggreendoorstudio

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Benji One Lung Barnstaple, UK

Ben Brewer writes pretty good music - it combines energetic guitars, lyrics that range from witty (sort of) to heartfelt and the occasional hint back to Ben's punk rock roots.
Don't read about it, LISTEN TO IT!

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Track Name: You're A Taboo
You're one in a million
A million I've seen a million times before
I'm sure your name's not really Marie
And I'm confident that isn't your living room floor
Says here you like ponies
And I'm impressed by your grasp of political ideas
But there's only so many ways a girl can hide her ankles behind her ears
I turned the page to the centrefold spread and I had to hide my surprise
In my school and then serving me drinks were the last time I saw those eyes
This girl knows my name and she lies about hers
And she lived on my street and once helped with a verse
It was better off that way
She looks better off this way

And now I'm wondering what shapes Emily makes when she's the only one around
Or the silhouette cut by Sarah when she's out of town
I want to know what sound Sophie slips out when she's the happiest she's ever been
Let's talk about that
Tell me about that and it's who we'll be

I went to the party
We talked about shit we'd never mentioned before
I was thinking it probably should have stayed that way
As two drunk-ass girls chased me across the floor
We almost got the balance right between taking our clothes off and talking all night
One minute adults discussing sexual aids
The next I was pitying where that rabbit had strayed
And then Kim showed us all her black and white breasts in photos, I didn't know quite what to say
So she drank herself to the sofa and puked in her hair and all over the place
And then the beds came out and the dice threw down
And the pants came off and we passed them around
It was better off that way
It felt better off that way

And now I'm wondering what shapes Emily makes when she's the only one around
Or the silhouette cut by Sarah when she's out of town
I want to know what sound Sophie slips out when she's the happiest she's ever been
Let's talk about that
Tell me about that and it's who we'll be

Another line crossed and I don't want to talk about that
And I don't want to talk about me
Broken way more trust and I don't want to talk about that
And I don't want to talk about me

And then we'll all grow up and do the sensible thing, but then, none of us'll complain
'Cause the team'll change and we'll get fucked up and we'll do it all over again
And the want will grow and the dream may feed
And the pace may slow, but I'll still believe
It was better off that way
It felt better off that way

And now I'm wondering what shapes Emily makes when she's the only one around
Or the silhouette cut by Sarah when she's out of town
I want to know what sound Sophie slips out when she's the happiest she's ever been
Let's talk about that
Tell me about that
Let's talk about that and it's who we'll be

And I don't want to talk about me
Track Name: Down In The Inbetween
John needs to spend some more time alone
At first it was her conclusion, then now his own
The dream he's building is bright and tall
But the world's a big place and she wants it all
He cries as she packs her things, she smiles and goes

His best friend offers a sense of absolution, as he's hanging around
But his own tale only roughly outlines the pain and John tries telling him
One saw it coming and let her go
The other broke down from just having to know
I trust you my friend, but it's kind of not the same

It's not a disorder, I don't think I'm diseased
I'm just a little down in this space inbetween
I'm normal, I'll be fine
I'll be fine
I don't really need much sympathy
The strongest cry before they're free
In a burst of overwhelming relief, I'll be fine
I'll be fine

As much a surprise to him as to anyone, a girl makes him smile
And John forgets his train of thought
And why he was upset in the first place, thinking

It's not a disorder, I don't think I'm diseased
I'm just a little down in this space inbetween
I'm normal, I'll be fine
I'll be fine
I don't really need much sympathy
The strongest cry before they're free
In a burst of overwhelming relief, I'll be fine

And all along he's the second best
At everything, with the emphasis on the everything
Nevertheless, ten years go
His torn and frayed attention span
Is stretching between his and her demands
A perfect work of imperfect hands is let go

And John feels pretty bad for feeling ok
Mistakes must feel pretty right to make, if this is a mistake

It's not a disorder, I don't think I'm diseased
No matter what you want to see in me
It's normal, I'll be fine
I'll be fine
I don't really need much sympathy
The strongest cry before they're free
In a burst of overwhelming relief, I'll be fine

It's not a disorder, I don't think I'm diseased
I'm just a little down in this space inbetween
I'm normal, I'll be fine
I'll be fine
I don't really need much sympathy
The strongest cry before they're free
In a burst of overwhelming relief, I'll be fine
I'll be fine
Track Name: What Did I Say Then
I'm drifting away, can't seem to focus on the words
Did I leave the TV on, or was it set to standby?
It's not deliberate I've heard, just an overactive memory
You could ask a thousand times, but I'll just stick to thinking

And you'll see the focus in my eyes
I swear that I was listening
I probably heard everything
And I'll be lost on the inside
I swear I was listening
I probably heard everything

I care, but I keep getting distracted
By the spider in your hair and whether it might be radioactive
Childish thoughts like these prevent any real sincerity
When you're talking about your child who died
Or might have been born, or something similar

And you'll see the focus in my eyes
I swear I was listening
I probably heard everything
And I'll be lost on the inside
I swear I was listening
I probably heard everything

Suprisingly I'm alright
With this feeling that I'm blind to the outside
Surprisingly, yeah, I'm fine
Maybe I've been hearing words you never said

And you'll see the focus in my eyes
I swear I was listening
I probably heard everything
And I'll be lost on the inside
I swear I was listening
I probably heard everything

And you'll see the focus in my eyes
I swear I was listening
I probably heard everything
And I'll be lost on the inside
I swear I was listening
I probably heard everything
Track Name: My Head Hurts (Acoustic)
Riding the bus
Paranoid, check for my keys again
I think she thinks I'm watching, that I'm staring when
I fidget in my favourite seat, loudest demos on repeat
Do they know who I am?
Maybe I should show them, brand new pad and pen
This lyricist who, what, now she's glaring again?
I'm the only sane one on this trip, we're becoming best friends
When did me drawing conclusions about you and me
From scrapes and contusions and marks on your sleeve
Change from the act of someone in control
To someone who's lost all their teeth?
I'm lucky I'm the only one trained not to slouch
Don't these people know your lumbar's hooked up to your mouth?
I'm surrounded by fools, why do idiots surround?
(Why does my head keep rewording this for grammar and sound?)
I'm thinking too quickly for my hand with a pen
My 'a's look like 'o's, so they're kept in my head
I look like I'm preparing my words, it won't help
I'm set with two seconds on everyone else
I can feel time, it's stretching and it's bending around
I feel one with the lights and the merry-go-round
Give no shit that the tiniest shifts won't be seen
I would teach you, but noone wants sane like me
Oh noone wants sane like me
Noone wants sane like me